PODS BLOG 2009/2010/2011

8th

EPISODE

19^th September 2015

It’s been a while since there’s been a need for a Pod’s Blog, but Griggsy’s 50^th birthday celebrations appear just about worthy. Richard (3) and Ben (2) both appear in the annals, Richard as a genuine all-rounder (batting average higher than bowling average) proving statistics do indeed lie. Richard had spent the last three months organising 22 players, and with a number of drop outs late on, Pod was drafted in to make up the numbers. The core of the Griggs outfit

It was lovely to see so many old faces, ex-Jesters and former team mates, all gathering together to celebrate Richards’ half century. Pod has always been one to give up his time for a good cause, but when receiving a text this week asking for a charitable donation, I smelled a rat. Lo and behold, on arriving at Hall Park, there was Pod’s old foe Darren Murray, already in whites and practicing. The question to why there was a need for some ‘funds’ was answered!

Team Griggs batted first and Windy (despite a Friday evening net) went first ball of the match, offering a sharp chance to Hughes at gully. A strict 3 overs per bowler policy ensured that everyone was involved and the 35 minutes between overs let the muscles stiffen up nicely between each period of activity. Team Griggs started slowly with Vinall making the most of his luck, utilising DRS and Sledge and Browny still smiling after all these years slapping wayward bowling about before succumbing to a sharp catch by Pod at mid off. Rawdon All-stars were concerned that there wouldn’t be enough to chase, but their fears were misplaced. A useful knock from Ben (retired on 32*), good support from the lower order and some shoddy fielding, meant they set a total of 170 in their 30 overs.

Highlight of the innings was a knock of some class by the aforementioned Murray (Snr). Not only did he unflinchingly run out his daughter Alex, but he caressed the ball to all parts. The cover drives were exquisite, and I’d have gladly (knowingly) paid a tenner to watch stroke play of that order. His downfall was as spectacular as his stroke play, as he smashed a drive to mid-off, to find Pete Smith pluck it out of the air like a thing that plucks things out of the air.

At tea, the Rawdon All-stars were struggling to find an opening partnership before settling on the Bell/Podmore dream ticket. 498 Jesters games between them, and a lifelong friendship on and off the Belly ticked the ‘no publicity’ box field. What better combination could there be? As they trudged into the pavilion Bell stated ‘If anyone is going to get run out, it won’t be me’ to which Pod replied ‘Well it certainly won’t be me.’

So, after Bell was run out in the first over, Pod steered the All-stars towards their total. There was some big hitting from Brown and Boden early on, but these were minor cameo performances, as is the norm from these two. Pod retired after a watchful 31* and left the middle order of Jonathan (32*) and Duncan to steer us to the target. WASP was all over the place, like a wasp on a late summers afternoon, as the game ebbed and flowed. Windy returned the compliment to Hings, bowling him with a wicked in-swinger, and the skipper Smith batting at 11, needed to play the skippers’ role. Duncan holed out in the Warm down old school style deep giving Viners figures of 3-1-29-3 and the bowler of the day award (not that there was one).

It was left to Pete to slap Griggsy for a 6 and a 4 in the final over to ensure the target was reached off the penultimate ball with 8 wickets down. One cannot argue that there were multiple winners on the day. Rawdon All-stars, the Griggs family and Richard in particular for organising a wonderful afternoon, and evening. All shareholders in Ralgex and Radox, and finally cricket. Cricket is always the winner.

JESTERS DINNER 2011

It was the usual crew who returned to their Yeadon venue for the final Jesters Dinner, marking 50 years of friendly cricket, some good, some average and some bloody awful. Caggy does a brilliant job as fixtures secretary ensuring that year on year the opposition quality declines as much as we do, and that our win ratio is maintained. It was good to see the same old faces on their yearly get together, and the 50^th brought a few recent absentees out to celebrate the occasion. There had been a few hiccups in the arrangements as Belly kept texting one of Sully’s work colleagues (he’d passed on his phone) who was apathetic to attend, and didn’t appreciate the hassle. What a good job Caggy bumped into Sully at HTFC and the value of verbal communication won through. Coco started proceedings with Grace, a lovely girl, and unsurprisingly Dale’s new best friend. The jesters went for beef this year, and the food was edible, not something that can be said about all previous dinners. Scotty must have made thousands on the night as the world’s most expensive raffle/bingo rolled into town. Well it was the last dinner, he may as well make a final sting. The chat over the meal was the usual cricketing stuff, Sully to Chipper ‘Did you play in the first game?’ Quality. News that Mr Nasty still turns out every week for Crossroads was a revelation, however he has cut down his run up. Over on the wrinklies table there were four who were old enough to have turned out in that first fixture at Meanwood, a brilliant testament to friendship and camaraderie, that they still are on speaking terms.

This year it was Cocos turn to speak in a Ron Wells style (was it Coco as well last year?) i.e. at length, but saying very little. Jesters are known for their one liners, Coco take note. Caggy more than made up for it, and was on top form. Highlights for those in attendance

· Ooooh that bed looks comfy

· He pulled out a picture of his wife

· You always need nails.

The tankard went to Stuart Dobson. The misspelling of his name gave some indication of the esteem his continued commitment to the Jesters is held in. News that he was once too quick was surprising, although I had heard a couple of his exes whispering confirmation about the same thing a little while ago. The skipper spoke to me about the potential tankard winner for 2012 being a real problem. It does appear we have reached the bottom of the barrel with Dobby.

Yours in sport Pod

JESTERS DINNER 2010

As with most Jesters games, the dinner flowed somewhere between rampant success, utter failure, and tumbleweed blowing nothingness. The capable, or is that culpable(?), dinner committee had once again secured the Cleckheaton Sports Club, and we expected to fill the place. As it transpired there were more Barrie recalls his school days as 3rd XV hooker. drop outs than the YMCA, and initial discussions are being held with the Salvation Army for next year, to see if we can hold it in one of their soup kitchens. With the pressure of any off field responsibility getting to Belly, he booked himself a week in the LGI Health Spa. On the bright side, Dave has finally proved his old drama teacher wrong for miscasting him as the Tin Man in the Benton Park 1978 production of The Wizard of Oz. He had gone for the part of the scarecrow, which he thought was made for him, and has held a grudge to this day. Anyone who has played under Dave’s captaincy will agree that it was a tough call either way. Miami Winterbottom, had a date clash with Lepton CC’s annual wife swapping night, so naturally could not make it either. The late announcement that Barnsley was open for the evening meant their contingent had to stay local.

With everyone who is really committed to the Jesters pulling together, and in one (small) room, it was bound to be a success. Age is starting to tell throughout, with Scotty forgetting the memory card for his camera, The ritual handshake of ‘The Silent Botherhood’ and Matt forgetting to put his shoes on. Lucky he wasn’t wearing slippers. Pod had picked the raffle prizes up from Dave, but after the problems of last year, decided handing whiskey out was just asking for trouble, and left them at home. It was decided to laugh in the face of George Osbourne/Alistair Darling and hold onto them for a year until the 50^th dinner.

A competent meal of pea and ham soup, roast beef, and trifle was well received. The complementary wine took its toll on a couple of individuals. I understand the tankard winner had a thick head come Saturday morning, and the act of drinking it caused problems for Dobby. Firstly he had difficulty grasping the concept of a screw top and couldn’t understand why no wine came out of the bottle. When the penny dropped, he was away, and determined to not get caught like that again. His cunning plan was hatched and he The youngest ever reciprient of the TANKARD left the top off. When his glass needed replenishing, 5 minutes later, he struggled like hell to unscrew the cap!!

The raffle was as usual organised by Scotty, who at one stage declared ‘I’ve won myself’. I knew the prizes were poor but.... It was decided on the day that any profits will go to buying a JCC defibrillator, to be kept in the back of the skippers car. Bad taste? (Do you do any other kind of taste? - ed)

In the place of Stand Up Sit Down bingo, (if it’s not broke, don’t fix it) was a game of Kings and Queens. It seemed to involve standing looking either gay, or for a fight, and Scotty telling you to sit down, depending on how he felt. I’m not sure there is any mileage in this game to be honest. Coming in from a fag break, Dobby found himself stood up, and in the final. Fortunately Scotty asked him to sit down for looking just too gay.

Perfect Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance has long been a Jesters motto, and there are a ‘Big’ Barry King receives the Presidency with grace. couple who need reminding of it. Ben had put some thought into the night by 'getting ganjed off his tits early doors’ I think the term is, but a couple of the speakers could have done with a little forethought too. Coco was his usual vague self in declaring the tankard winner, recounting stories he had quizzed Matt “I’ve got a tankard. Have you?” about on the car ride there. How surprised Matt must have been to receive a ‘small token of our esteem’. Barrie’s usual speech started off in him own inimitable way with a witty account of the shenanigans of last year’s dinner, and the debacle of the presidency. Pod for one hopes oil will be poured on troubled waters and Eric will be part of next year’s 50^th celebrations. ‘Big’ Barry King is the new incumbent in the role of President, and was honoured with a bit of ribbon and some medallion, that I think once belonged to Les. The second half of Barrie’s speech was a tribute to Eric’s predecessor.

All in all, a very successful night for everyone who attended, and we look forward for the committee giving some focus to getting a larger percentage of the 485 Jesters to attend in 2011, for what will be the 50^th anniversary dinner.

Sunday 30th August 2009

Rawdon were struggling for numbers somewhat as Pod answered the call to dust off the boots and turn out. A promise of an opening spot secured the deal and Pod was happy at the late weeks' showers, as it was going to be a bowlers day. Guiseley turned up with 5 junior and 5 senior cricketers and with Capt Mainwaring adding his tactical expertise it wasn't difficult to see why they were near the foot of the table. Nick had obviously expected the track to take spin, and was dumbfounded to see a green top, and took Sledge to task for the poor pitch preparation. Kitch stepped in to calm things down, and this was before the toss.

Pod was surprised to see Nick has learnt at least one thing in his years as skipper, and stuck us in. Perhaps if he plays another 20 years he'll learn something else. A shocking start to the game saw Nelly and Bodey back in the tent and Rawdon's hard ~~hitting~~ drinking middle order striding in. Unfortunately Dingy went straight away as well and 9-4 didn't look great. A tremendous recovery was initiated by Sledge as he doubled the score in 4 balls, but ran out of patience and got himself off. At 19-5 another tactical masterstroke brought P Graham into the attack. Now I understand Pete was a fairly handy bowler in his time but this was his 17 year old daughter. DT was the first to fall to the long haired looker, and this brought Pod to the crease. With top scorer Windy going to a sharp catch and with only the tail for company, the pressure was heaped on. It would be far to easy to write cheap double entendres now, but Pod has always risen above this.

Anyway, as the leggy blonde approached, Pod got a little tickle and she whipped Pod's middle wicket out. A look of astonishment on her face soon transformed into a wide grin, overjoyed at what she saw.

Sorry guys, but one cannot look a gift horse in the mouth. It had to be done.

The tail didn't wag (the double meanings have stopped now, it's back to the cricket), and we were dismissed for a paltry 33.

A 10 minute break, as teas weren't ready, brought Guiseley's junior opening pair to the crease. Pod feels like he's getting old when the players Christian names are mostly 'trendy' celeb based affairs, and this is the case with Guiseley. We had Phoebe, obviously Pete was a Friends fan, and Harrison, whose mum probably was keen on the star of the Indiana Jones films. Finally we had Jordan, a tribute to the big titted slag who's recently split up from Peter Andre? Whatever next?

Trevor Penney took a couple of quick wickets for Rawdon, but proved his raw talent is backed up by an unused brain, as a permanently one legged Glen Taylor wiped off the rest of the runs with ease.

Not a great deal to write about unfortunately as the only thing of any excitement was a four overthrows from Pod that left Ben, Craig and Chris on their backsides trying forlornly to stop it.

Never mind, as Haighy says, 'It doesn't matter'.

Footnote: Despite us only scoring 33, Nick still managed to chase the ball, and on 4 occasions putting a fielder where the ball had just been hit. Terrific stuff.

Yours in sport, and back into retirement. Pod

Monday 1st June 2009

Saturday brought a beautiful day, a close game, but nevertheless a loss.

The high point for Pod was Tim Hales handing a box of beer over to the Rawdon lads, after the game, for their part in NLCC winning the title last year.

And so as we sat drinking together in the changing rooms, there was an end of season feel about things.

Taking into account a number of things, this seems to Pod to be a perfect time to call it a day.

And so, that is it. Pod's Blog is no more, and Pod has retired from cricket.

I look forward to meeting old friends and adversaries at the bar in the future, and wish you all the best.

On that bombshell........yours in sport. Pod

The Jonners On Three Tour 2009

A Bank Holiday weekend seemed like a good time to nip darn sarth for a few days cricket, so Pod tagged on to the Parkhead tour once again to see what cricket in the industrial wilderness of Sheffield was all about, and mix with the gentry and landowners of Devon for four games. Four games quickly became three as the 1st opposition couldn't raise a side, and Sunday was spent driving down to Topsham, under a blazing sun. Pod was Thelma to Viners' Louise, as the top was down and we spouted drivel all the way. Five hours later, and with bright red heads we arrived in time to enjoy the (Car) Toon Army get relegated, and have our

fill of Butcombe, (that is the local ale, not the by-product of homosexual shenanigans).

It was great to catch up with last years' tourists, Jonners (on three) and Arch who are both continuing to be average club crickets by staving off retirement, before becoming the legends that they one day will be, once they pack the game in. All the young lads were enjoying a shandy too, with Pony Spillman asking me to give him some bowling advice ('but not now, I'm pissed).

BH Monday and the sun shone as we visited Heathcoat CC .We naturally elected to bat and a slow low track accounted for the flair-driven strokeplay of the Vinall twins, before Will (87) showed what a class batter, and dreadful bore, he is by smashing it to all parts. He was ably supported by Spillers (snr), and cameos from Arch and Pod himself. The reply was lead by Heathcoat's overseas Q Adams, a one trick pony, but its a pretty good trick. Pod bowled tight (to the juniors, for the main) and Turnip gained deserved respect from their batters. Adams continued to smash it around, but with scant support he could never do it on his own, even with the help of Will who thought he'd try catching with his nose for the laugh. Bezza finally wrapped it up with a few overs left.

Back to Topsham and a night on the Buttcum, and a chance for Spillers, the fines master, to take the stage. Me me me, as Pod is fined for talking once the 'fining hat' is being worn. The inference here is that everyone should be gazing at Spillers at all times, just to see when he dons the said (ridiculous) headgear. It was worth 50p of anyone's money not to. Vines gets stung

big time as Perry seems unable to grasp the concept of not arguing, as do the remainder of his entourage. Early to bed, with a big game in the morning!!

On the Tuesday it's Cornwood CC ,leaving straight after breakfast, in order to get to the pub in time for lunch, or a pasty, before the game. Again the opposition are made up of veterans and juniors, and the perfect chance to give other tourists a bat. Well that's the idea, but like Reich last year, Graham fills his boots and bats through for a ton. It was great to watch too, I mean him going to the bar and getting the jugs in later, not his knock. Runs from Bevan and blobs from the Vinall family ensure that everyone enjoys the afternoon sun, wind and chilling temperatures.

There is pressure on Burks to keep the fixture with his captaincy, so he winds Turnip up and lets him loose. As terrific he was yesterday, Chris fails to keep control and work the batters out, instead resorting to pace, and losing the required line. There's plenty of time to learn for him though, a talent for the future and a different character either side of the white line. Pod gives them a few runs early doors before finishing with a couple of maidens. It's nice to still bowl them at will!! Another thing Pod likes is young pups throwing themselves about in the field, with Wilco putting first his kneecap in the way of a well struck drive, and then getting his big toe to one (making his excuses, and leaving). In two days of cricket only Viners misfielded one, how refreshing. We let the hosts get 150ish, still plenty short, but enough to keep them happy, before closing the game out. There was still time afterwards for more pasties and to enjoy Turnip running blindfolded, for 80 yards, straight into the fence surrounding the ground. Quality.

Another night on the Buttcum, and the Spillers show. Painful, but Graham celebrates his ton by filling a couple of jugs (utilised as props in a few predictable photos) and we enjoy the banter and camaraderie of the tour. Jonners - 'January', Viners - 'And most of February'.

The third day sees Pod duck out of playing as the weather has taken a turn for the worst, and it's pissing it down. Expecting an early departure form Blagdon, it is nice to see the hosts doing all they can to ensure this doesn't happen as a mopping operation guarantees a 30 overs a side game. Frankly it's all a bit village with a 3 overs maximum per bowler, but Sam gets more runs on tour than his dad, and a few lusty blows from just about everyone give Parkhead a total of 150. The low point however is Bevan deliberately shelling a catch whilst subbing for the opposition. There is no place for this in cricket, at any level, and Pod cannot condone it. Nor can he condone their umpire calling no-balls for beamers, from square leg. It's f**k all to do with you, so shut up. Still, a lovely place, and great bunch of guys. A quick slice of quiche (jealous Will?) and its off home before we have a bowl. Guess we won though.

What a few days, immensely enjoyable, cost a fortune and looking forward to next years' invite already.

Jonners on three. One, two, three.............

Yours in sport, Pod

Nattering Nerys’ Storytime

Giving it her all on a cricket pitch near you

Laurence the Tank Engine

It was Tuesday evening. The Rawdon branch of Aire Wharfe steam railway society was meeting to select the engines to cover the following weekends activities. Laurence addressed the other chief engines;

“ Gosh we’ve got a busy weekend ahead of us. With the bad weather cancelling last weeks cup rides we need to 33 engines to fulfil our fixtures on Sunday.”

“Yes” piped up Dingy the Dingy engine “ and it’s even worse than that! Eight of our engines are either having repairs or taking a very inconveniently timed holiday and three of our younger engines are representing the branch for the league or county!”

Laurence swelled with pride at the younger engines success, but he knew this added to the problems for the forthcoming weekend. How would Rawdon be able to put out 33 engines? With a heavy heart, he looked around the room.

“Lads” he said, “ there’s no other option. I’m going to have to speak to the Fat Controller. He’s a sensible, reasonable man and I’m sure when I explain the problem to him he’ll allow us to re-arrange things so that we only need to find 22 engines for Sunday.”

Smithy the slow (and sometimes slightly pessimistic) engine guffawed. “I hope you’re right Laurence, but sometimes the Fat Controller can be a bit of a power mad egomaniac when it comes to deciding how to run the society. Don’t forget that changes to the points on the line fiasco last season, when whole teams of engines suddenly didn’t know if they were meant to be going up or down.”

Laurence stood up. “ No,” he said “you’re wrong, Smithy. I mean if he makes a unilateral decision that we have to get 33 engines out on Sunday, that means we’ll have to ask children under the age of 12, pensioners, members of the golf club, all sorts of people who haven’t played cricket for at least 10 years - if at all – to play. I mean, golly, I may have to play myself. Why that could start to get dangerous and we’ll need to spend the rest of the week trying to beg and borrow bats and pads, helmets and all the rest of the kit. Even the fat controller wouldn’t be that silly to make us do that.” As he finished speaking, Laurence picked up his phone and walked out of the room, ringing the fat controllers number.

[at this point children need to cover their ears and indeed even the chief engines were cowering in their seats as Laurence has a quite noisy and boisterous conversation with the fat controller, with a lot of strange words in it]

“**@£$%***er!!” yelled Laurence as he walked back in the room, slamming the door. “Gosh!! What a silly fat controller!”

Monday 18th May 2009

It was back to inner-city cricket for the Rawdon boys this week for a visit to Colonel Sanders' lot at KFCC. The forecast was a shocker, with it getting worse later on, so Longers sensibly won the toss and after a late start asked the hosts to have a bat. Whilst waiting round for the wicket to be mopped up and readied, we were asked to stand off the square. Pod feels there's someone at this club full of their own self-importance, unlike the rest of the guys that are now at home in the Aire-Wharfe and are now perfectly personable. Who could that be?

We bowled poorly, essentially, on a wicket that was giving some assistance. The one short boundary was pummelled with full tosses, and chances that we did create were not snaffled. Having said that, Ellis played some lovely shots in his 114, but should have gone on 47, with a missed stumping, and a couple of times after that as he rode his luck. Nerys came back well with a couple of late wickets as KFC played for the declaration as the rain arrived.

The crew watch a bit of cricket during their break.

At this point we re-located to the clubhouse that is being used as a set for the next series of Auf Weidersehen Pet. Moxy had done some plastering that was just going off, but it looked as if Oz and Bomber had been out on the piss and come back and trashed the place. Never mind, lets get stuck into tea.

There were a couple of overflowing cups on display, but otherwise there was very little to satisfy a hungry cricket team. Pod duly held back but Sledge, possibly subliminally, got himself a couple of ample portions, and tucked in heartily. Our scorer John, was not at all happy to find absolutely nothing left for him, he even said he'd have settled for a crisp sandwich, he was that disappointed.

The second half was as expected with the wicket perking up a fraction and the KFC bowlers utilising More than one to chose from.

it better than we did, but they couldn't take wickets. Nelly and Callum batted with technique and application beyond their years. As Pod did a stint at square leg, he noticed the KFC keeper, who was stood back, continually coming up to 13 year old Callum and whispering in his ear. This was after every ball. Now if this happened in an internet chat room, it'd be labelled 'grooming' one feels. How about letting a junior with more talent now, than you've ever had, just get on with playing the game? Soapbox away, we clung on for an easy point closing at 128-6, chasing the 204, which was always going to be too many. For the record, Pod again lost the 50p challenge and is going through a shocking spell.

On Sunday in the cup we mopped up for two hours, took an early tea and started a 25 over game as the rain came again.

3.4 overs bowled. Pool 13-0

Try again next week. see you all then.

Yours in sport, Pod

Monday 11 May 2009

"There's nothin' more foolish than a man chasing his hat" - Gabriel Byrne

Windy & Matt Hill - You were spotted!!

Courage takes many forms, both physical bravery and mental toughness, and Hardon have it in spades. Pod was a nervous wreck as he approached the wicket with three overs to see Sledge ponders just how empty the glass really is.

Sledge ponders just how empty the glass really is.

out for the rain affected draw, to be met with a crescendo of blog related abuse. Granted the vast majority of the words came from behind Pod's back, but one imagines that that was merely to do with the field placings, not the implication, that with one exception, none of the opposition had the balls to either say anything face to face, or indeed earlier when they had all had a chance to come out and have a bat and be surrounded by Rawdon players. They had all been as quiet and meek as church mice then. But, safety in numbers, they really got under Pod's skin and he crumbled, giving his wicket away, and thus the 6 points went to Hardon. Earlier, the brave and the good of Hardon had sent Windy on his way, telling him to turn the showers on, (again from an anonymous source, behind his back), and sent Matt Hill off by telling him he was a c**t. Courage indeed, and a tribute to the club. How the Hardon President must be proud.

Earlier, Longers had won the toss, and with rain forecast, asked Hardon to bat. One imagines that their skipper could just pick the first six batters out of the hat, as there was not a lot to chose between them, however Portlock showed patience and grit that eluded his fellow top Matt ticks the 'No Publicity' box after his dismissal.

Matt ticks the 'No Publicity' box after his dismissal.

order in getting 39. In at seven was new signing Spragg from Steeton, who must be hoping to impress. After three games in the 1's, he finds himself at the start of the tail, and surely on this performance, heading for the other end of it. Gardner (40) also showed some capability in leading the visitors to 165-8 from their 50 overs. Bowling credits were shared, with Longers being the pick, and Pod being lambasted by his own players for trying a last ball leggie, that went for a maximum. It's just a bit of fun lads!!

With a shower starting during tea, we lost 10 overs in which to bat, which made it a 6-0 or 1-1 game. Once again as we got on top we lost wickets. Windy, having been given the benefit by the umpire of a caught behind, found the Hardon players apoplectic with rage. How Pod would have enjoyed watching Ray Beadle deal with them in times past. "Grin and bear it lads, just grin and bear it," as he would smite another boundary. Unfortunately for us, Windy has a guilty conscience and gave it up a few balls later. Callum again looked quality, but the rate was increasing, and a flurry of wickets as we had a slog took their toll. Finally, with Longers succumbing, Pod was told to try get a point. Alas, Pod's mental frailty, together with the Hardon intimidation had the unwanted result mentioned above.

Hold on, no, not quite. It finished 1 point each as Rawdon closed 8 wickets down and twenty odd runs short.

In the bar after the game, the Hardon lads suddenly don't want to talk to the hosts, tucking themselves away in corners for a quick pint and then crawling off. Happily there is an exception in Andy Bailey, who comes over, talks cricket, and gains kudos that his team-mates could only dream about. Apparently all the blog related abuse is because I mentioned paying £3.50 for crisp sandwiches last year at Hardon. An official apology is demanded. Naturally, as an agent of the Jesters CC this apology will be required to come from the JCC governing body. Over to you DRB. ( Don't get me involved, I like Harden - ed & soon to visit umpire)

(I will of course endorse anything that you put the JCC name to!!!)

Yours in sport, Pod

P.S

Pod's new Mitre Derek Pringle Pro-Trundle Plus boots got their first victim of the season during all the sledging. Sadly I missed the muppet who mentioned them, but I'm sure he'll be reading this and will fess up on the guest book. Has irony not reached the quiet backwater of Hardon yet? Alas not.

Monday 4th May 2009

About 12 months ago, as Rawdon 2's were soundly beaten by a very good Otley team, CPSmith took the time to say what a disappointing side we had turned out and that we should be ashamed. Funny, but Chris didn't take the same time to discuss this weekends game, as Otley had struggled to survive for the single point after been given a master class in batsmanship by 'Unky Dunky' Stow. As usual, the Otley ground was a picture but the pitch had something in it for the bowler, surely the reason why Wilky won the toss and invited us to bat. Windy set of quickly but Dunc soon caught up and dominated the opening stand of 77 as Mick Gray accounted for Windy (23). Then it was Dunc all the way as the bowlers were rotated from one end and Mick twirled away from the other. Half way drinks, brought out by an injured Wolfy, raised a few eyebrows. A bowl of punch found in the fridge seemed a good idea to him, slightly less so to our 13 year old batter who had just taken a big thirst quenching glug. Callum was out next over and each incoming batter struggled to come to terms with the wicket that didn't come on, was a tad too paced and not the easiest to score on. But Duncan batted on. When he had got to 80, and was showing signs of cramp, Pod took the opportunity to have a word and tell him not to give it away. How little did Pod know. The ton came and went in a breath, and he was comfortable leader in the RCC six hitting comp, smashing several into the dead centre of Otley. Sledge had a go at batting but walked off after 5* realising it wasn't that easy, so it was left to Hughsey to accompany Duncan to the end. Windy's 2nd XI high score of 160 was passed and there were overs left. League handbooks were consulted. 201 was the number. The last over has Nerys on strike, swish - miss, hearts in mouths. A single - relief. C'mon Dunc. A swept four, only slightly mistimed, and it's there, league record. What an innings as the rest of us could only muster 75 between us off the other half of the deliveries. A consoling mention for Mick Gray, who hardly bowled a bad ball, had him dropped on 3 at bat-pad, and finished with 1-111. Ouch.

The crowd await another big one from Duncan

Otley's reply had to revolve around the young talent of Atkinson, but he was first to go to one that bounced from Longers, gloving to slip via the keeper, and from there on in they were never in it. Sledge had the idea of letting the batters know every time they had missed out on a poor delivery, and too many attempted to make up for it too soon, and fell trying. RCC's ground fielding was excellent with Matty finally deciding he can contribute in the field. Nerys plugged away from one, whilst the seamers toiled at the other. Snugglebunny was reliable in line and length and completed two frugal spells, his best for the club to date. Pod took his first wickets of the season, skipper and Jester Wilky, and when Davy got would up that everyone was on the edge, still had a slog and succumbed to Pod's leggy.

Charlie Munday's comment 'I didn't think you could bowl any slower' was not appreciated! The latter batsmen finally shut up shop and settled for the point, with us unable to get the ultimate wicket.

A job well done, but we'll miss Duncan in the next few weeks, when God calls.

Yours in Sport, Pod

Monday 27th April 2009

This weeks blog was always going to be a testing one after the comparative ease of a Burley starter. The number of 'characters' there is indirectly proportional to those at Bilton, who's whole eleven struggles to come up with a combined (cricketing) personality. Even in past years the Bilton side has been abjectly boring when it comes to on-field interest and let's face it, the addition of Nicky Bull ( a shadow of his former self, except where pleading with umpires was concerned) although a good effort to put some zip in the side, didn't have the required impact.

Thus after being inserted, Rawdon set off at pace. 'Uncky Duncky' Stow (73) filled his boots against the pubescent attack, and Callum (17) played some lovely shots in his cameo. Nelly smashed his way to 5, breaking a new bat clean in two on the way, but then we faltered. Dunc got stuck on 69 (fnar, fnar) and out just before drinks, leaving us in need of some runs in the 2nd half. Longers and Matt Hill batted through the next 10 as Morley and Tyler had a go and stemmed the flow, but there was then a base for a final assault as Nerys (30+) again cashed in on some tired bowling and even Griggsy reached double figures. Club newcomer Chris Halliday had to watch the progression of runs before getting a go at 9 and missing a straight one. Happily for Pod he stormed off and demanded immediately that Matt bat him higher up the order in future.Good job there's no cock of the week any more!

Bilton's No1 fan prefers to watch some grass growing on the Billin during the 2nd innings.

The Bilton reply was as expected. Wharton (70), their only recognised batter had to perform, and he did, but the scant support from the youngsters added to his burden. A succession of lengthy single figure scores ensured that the ultimate total was never a realistic goal and indeed only a slog from Tyler at the end got them anywhere near. Nerys was the pick of the bowlers with a nice little Michelle. To enliven things up a touch the Rawdon boys had dropped catching competition with a final score of 7 and five players taking part. Pod of course took the plaudits with three real toughies going to ground.

It might just be a long season for Bilton too in 2009 unless they get some big boys back in the side. Pod predicts a relegation haunted year for the Harrogate lot.

Yours in Sport, Pod

20th April 2009

It’s been a long old winter for Pod with, for the first time ever, not a single net. Thus it’s nigh on 8 months since a ball was delivered and a bat smited in anger. Rusty is not the word. Looking around the changing room there are a few carrying injuries, a black eye, a big toe nail that is almost off but still flapping around, a bandaged finger due to a wart being removed (the day before the season starts?), and a nasty looking bruised elbow. Moving past Sledge, Nerys’ love affair with Ralgex continues and Longers is fully strapped up. We’re ready and raring to go. Loll has come up trumps with new gear. Training tops and match shirts. Unfortunately, having never seen a 2^nd XI game, he doesn’t realise the 2^nd XI demographic of weighty forty-somethings, and the shirts ordered really don’t fit the bill, there was even a small in there, perhaps for Graham Wright’s selections. Lucky Pod is a lithe and athletically built specimen!!

Burley won the toss and asked us to bat. Pod is currently reading a terrifically funny book by Michael Simkins about an overweight kid who discovers a love of cricket despite his ineptitude at the game. He tucks his shirt in and could play. You don't and can't. Burley have their very own ‘Fatty Batter’ who immediately sledges Windy for having a slog in the 2^nd over, and is a general gobshite throughout, even having a go at Pod for not moving the screens and letting the home side look after their own facilities. 32-5 is not a great start to the season, with the umpire making up for a 7 month lay off by quickly recalling how to ruin someone’s day, but seemingly not remembering any of the laws concerning LBWs. Sledge (54) and Longers (26) set about rebuilding, as Burley have to rotate their junior bowlers. Pick of the crop is Cooper who finishes with a 4 for. Another mini collapse leaves us at 138-8, but Nerys (40) and Pod (25*) give themselves targets to reach and keep going. The inter-over chat is all about not giving it away, and with the score on 170, Nerys tells me to aim for 180. Two balls later he’s hit a 6 and a 4, and Pod is directionless for the rest of the over. His rashness eventually catches up to him and it is left to Pod and Trevor Penny to see out the overs, and get us over the 200, helped by 31 extras.

With the track slightly two paced and with variable bounce we feel this is a good total to defend with 153 the 2 point total. Longers soon gives way to Nerys who immediately gets an LBW given in his favour, bringing Fatty Batter to the crease. All of a sudden he wants to be everyone’s friend, explaining he only got his stuff out of the loft at 11.30 that morning. Sledge shuts up for once giving him the silent treatment, and after a couple of ugly swishes and a miss, he also gets the umpires finger. If only he’d have tucked his shirt in on the way back, he may have just resembled a cricketer, for once that day at least. Frosty (40) continued to stick around but wasn’t happy with all run 4’s, quickly turning them into 3s then 2s. 90-2 at drinks was competitive, but TP took over from Pod and both batsmen gave it away shortly afterwards, one to a fine catch by Windy who nearly corkscrewed himself into the ground in the process. The young lads just couldn’t get Nerys away and got out trying and all of a sudden the focus shifted as Rawdon went for the kill, with one eye on the 5-1/4-2 draw. As the 9^th wicket went down with 141 on the board and 2 overs left Pod had to leave the ground as he had a bit of a do to go to and the text he later received told him we had finished with 4 points in the draw. Apparently the umpire had told the batters that 152 was the 2 point total, so they got there and stuck. Alas 152 is not quite 75% of 203. Looks like it was a 5-1 after all.

Tip: There’s a little box on the scoreboard where the 75% target should go. Use it, it doesn’t half help.

CLICK ON PODS HEAD TO READ HIS LAST RUBBISH.