Catching competition update:- RL=10, Hill tag team=7, DRB=5, Ives=3,  Scottie=1

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Alternative report by Ives (edited)

(What REALLY happened).

Arriving very late due to the skippers inability to tell the difference between 2 miles and 20 miles, the start of the game was delayed as DRB proceeded to lose the toss and inform the lads that we were fielding. This pleased no body except Scottie who was hoping to over-haul RL’s season tally with the hat-trick hero absent to perform in the re-named Greig Batty Appreciation 20/20 at Rawdump CC.

Fielding first, captain chaos Bell decided to leave Bats and Rowdy without the ball and open with debutant Ashley (the real) Benson. Paul Benson couldn’t understand why there were 2 Benny’s, and kept turning round whenever “Benny” was shouted to Ashley. So Belly sent him to 3^rd man where he fielded sat on a style trying to work out how the electric fence worked. Bless him.

Excellent opening spells were soon rectified when Scottie came on and bowled his normal darts in a mammoth spell that failed to make major inroads to RL’s wicket tally…. Thanks mainly to some inspired dropped catches! (Captain Chaos also dropped a dolly from his own bowling).

Greig Batty was eventually given the ball for the final over but got carted at a rate of 9 per over. Mind you, it is difficult to bowl with Dave Belly hanging out of the back of you!)

In reply, captain chaos tinkered with the batting order, and ended up getting it all wrong! Greig Batty obviously opened, and performed admirably considering Belly was still attached to his rear end!

Rawdon youngster Callum “Tavere” Goldthorpe showed his class with a well grafted 49 from 2,738 deliveries. Perfectly complimented by Greig’s cultured slogging into the gardens. Apparently, the Arthington players are banned from that garden and asked us to leave the ball there. Rowdy just scaled the fence and fetched it back saying “what are they gunna do?”

Dennis Nash proved too quick for Greig and Callum which brought the proper batters to the crease. Only for Geoff Barker, recently released from the Aussie squad, to come on and turn the ball both ways to decimate the middle order.

Old men Rowdy and the real Benny rescued the job when Yatesy realised that the pub was open and that we still needed 50 from the last 4 overs and so destroyed Dennis and Geoff in 7 balls!

After a long hot shower in the over-sized changing facilities, it was off to the pub for a couple of liveners before the night out at Rawdump CC.

Belly was on top form, captain chaos becoming the object of desire for the the tea lady who was playing footsie with the skipper and flashing a bit of inner thigh! All Belly was interested in was Bats not being jealous!!

Eventually getting back to Bell Towers where the skipper assured us he’d stocked up on beer. The 4 cans and 6 bottles lasted all of 5 minutes!

After a shower and micky taking with Belly’s photos it was off to Rawdump for chicken rice and pea and ting, and Greig’s big money move discussions with the skipper, Stuart Smith. However the talks broke down when Stuart’s Mrs, Mandy White, was reliving stories of yesteryear with Rowdy!

Eventually making our way into Leeds to finish off the night, Bats and Belly went home to consummate the relationship, and RL, Rowdy, the real Benny and Ives ended up in Wildcats till 5:30am. RL and Benny stayed for 1 more dance!

A good day all round, and the Barnsley contingent will definitely be playing again.