JESTERS C.C.

Barrie Carter

Most likely to say – "Just missing leg fruit."

Least likely to say - "No I will not sell you a car"

Everyone knows the only sure way to improve as a cricketer is to retire. Immediately, one becomes a once great batter, bowler or both.. The longer the retirement, the greater the improvement, no matter what ones skill level was, before packing your gloves and box away in the loft.

Caggy retired years ago.

The annals speak for themselves as to Caggy’s commitment to the Jesters, as well as to the poor wickets of the 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s. It cannot be coincidence that with the introduction of the lawn mower into Yorkshire in 1981, that Caggy’s days as a wicket taker were numbered.

He still turns out sporadically, to don the white coat , and it is not unseen for him to still play his part in a jesters win.

Dave Bell

Most likely to say – “Want a game tomorrow?”

Least likely to say – “No more thanks, I’m full”

Captain, leading run scorer in Jesters history, better catcher than Scotty, flat track bully, 12 year olds’ rabbit, Nick Fraser copyist. Call him what you will, Dave has led the Jesters, kicking and screaming into  the 21^st century.  He has befriended hundreds of opponents on a Saturday evening, and then turned them into enemies as they are under-bowled or under-batted the following day.

In his prime he, took apart bowling attacks at will. Unfortunately nowadays the sight of his name on the team sheet strikes fear merely into the tea-ladies. Records seldom lie, and perusal of the annals show in the past Dave has scored a HEEP of runs in the Jesters cause.  If you want a game of cricket, call Dave, he’ll slot you in, guaranteed. (Binders excepted).

Noteable Jesters Wickets – Murray Goodwin - Zimbabwe, Western Australia, Mashonaland, Sussex, Netherlands, Bilton, Aire-Wharfe S.C.L. Ugly XI (captain).

John 'Coco' Coates

Most Likely to Say – “Shall I say a few words?”

Least Likely to Say – “Do you want me to patrol the cover boundary, Skip?”

Approaching the end of a long and undistinguished career.

There have been highs (been beaten only once in 20 years in the "on tour competition"),

but these have been vastly outnumbered by the lows. The commitment to running the Jesters

displayed by Barrie and David is not mirrored by John. Despite holding the position of chairman of

 the club, the excuses appear endless to miss games or meetings, school parents evenings, holidays,

his sisters’ birthday, an afternoon of  pricking out. Shall I continue?

Noteable Jesters Wickets – Aftab Habib – Berkshire, Middlesex, Leicestershire, Canterbury, Essex, England.

Steve “Scotty” Scott

Most Likely to Say – “I’ll get the tickets – pay me when you can”

Least Likely to Say – “That’s a Michelle – take me off now Dave”

As the only ‘business man’ in the Jesters squad, Scotty has fulfilled the role of treasurer with

aplomb. Apparently we now have in excess of £150 in the bank, testimony in itself to a job well

done. Unofficially the worlds slowest bowler, officially the worlds highest, quantified in 1985 by

Ross McWhirter of the Guinness Book of Records.

It never ceases to amaze all Jesters that Scotty consistently takes wickets. True, catches have been

 completed on adjacent grounds and on a couple of occasions in adjacent counties, but it’s the

 stumpings that give me the most pleasure. A slow death that Vlad the Impaler would be proud of.

Brought up in a knife drawer.

Wallet thief.

Notable Jesters wickets – Suru Nayak – Bilton,Mumbai, India.

Ron Wells – Ex - President

Purchased the Presidency when Eric was out of the country, and was unwittingly involved in a

 heated power struggle for years. Despite the Annual Dinner speeches that continue to deny his

soundness of mind and body, he retained the position until the donations dried up and  he stepped

 aside in 2006. His performance at the 2007 dinner helped ease Barrie’s mind that the correct

decision was made.

An inauspicious career record quantifies what an ordinary cricketer Ron was.

Eric Harrison – President in-waiting.

Despite languishing in limbo, with no official role in the Jesters’ hierarchy for years, Eric has at

 last wrestled the Presidency from Crocodile Ron. Bribes and underhand actions played a major

part before Barrie rubber stamped the appointment.

Eric was a mean cricketer in his day and not afraid to be rude, with bat or tongue. A redoubtable

 performer in his years of captaincy, and onetime communications advisor to Norwood Green C.C.

Questioned the paternity of youngest son, before discovering Desperate Dan was a cartoon

character.

Steve Priestley

A stalwart of the Bradford Evening League for nearly 20 years. Played for BT  (BFD) for an

age before deciding it would be nice to win something, and moving to Copley. A born tourist. Can

 turn his hand to any cricketing skill, but always at his most content when stood up to a quality

 spinner,(with his dad doing the duties at square leg). Another player who plays havoc with the tea

ladies plans now he is a strict Mekon.

Major Influences – Linda McCartney (food), Ghandi (fashion).
 

Neil Waite

A veteran of friendly cricket, but his heart lies with Bradford Moor rather than the Jesters. Top

performer on his day (it was a Thursday in 1986) and is still looking to re-emulate the good

times. The better the batter, the better Neil appears to bowl. This is reflected by him being “sent

by the Colonel” repeatedly, whilst playing against the Jesters for Hall Park.

Graham Dobson

Cricketing Slag. He will do anything, anywhere, and for no money. Clubs have been known to

pay for the upkeep of his front pad but Dobby does not expect it.

He knows someone at every club in the world. Likes to field within 5 yards of someone for a chat.

Claims to have performed well on tour. Unconfirmed.

 Steve “Sid” Gower

Tipped Coco into a cocked hat in the Uncle Rubbish Challenge. Another born tourist, in his

element when his two favourite pastimes can be enjoyed in unison. Never been drunk after

discovering a coke top negates the alcohol in a pint of Stella. Knows the best places for

Hard-House and Garage in Cheltenham. Polar bear hunter. Never fallen over at a Jesters

Dinner.
Favourite for 2005 Jesters Dinner raffle.

Major Influences  - Oliver Reed, the Alien.

Dave ‘Pound on the ball’ Staniforth

When Dave started playing cricket he was fearless, and a stag in the field. Since donating his

body to medical science the gene that co-ordinates hand to eye movement has been isolated and

removed. One feels this has done his cricket no long term good. Multi-skilled, can bat anywhere

in the order, bowl or keep wicket, with equal ineptitude. Dave’s greatest moment was at

 Norwood Green. With the hosts requiring three to win, off the penultimate ball Dave refused a

catch, and threw two overthrows from 10 yards. A true Jester.

 James Hill

Stalwart of Rawdon c.c. where is likely to stay as it gives him the best opportunity of falling out

with the skipper & having a good sulk. Another advantage is finding he has tremendous bowling

figures each Saturday, this of course has nothing to do with his son Matthew doing the scoring!

Since he joined the Jesters only Franz Klammer has gone downhill quicker!

Noteable Jesters wickets – Steve Bindman – Cambridge Meths, Jesters, Bradford Moor, New

Rover.

Matthew Hodges

Another multi-skilled Jester. Can bat, bowl, field and keep wicket with a plum. (But then again,

who can't). Sacked as Jesters CC Communications Director after the infamous 8 Jesters and a

plank tour of 1996. Answered the call for tourists on T.M.S. that same year.
Never happier than fielding 1 yard away from the shade of a tree at Henley, on a very long, very

hot afternoon. If your wife gets a call at 2 a.m. asking why you aren’t touring, it’ll be Matthew.


Steve Sullivan

Buying season tickets for both Leeds United and Huddersfield Town are the actions of a man who

gets most of his enjoyment in the summer months. the definitive 'handbag arm'. Likes a challenge.

Successfully stood up to Carl Bulfin before breaking a finger and missing the remainder of the

season. Outclassed by S. Booth on tour.
Most embarrassing moments – Kings Stanley (When Harry Met Sully) 1999, The
Two Brewers (fireplace)1988

Pete O’Gram

A natural performer in front of a big crowd, which begs the question why he turns out for the

Jesters. Invariably turns up late, straps on his pads and caresses the ball to all corners, whilst

telling his batting partner he isn’t feeling in good nick. Tenacious footballing opponent. Never

seen without a smile on his face.
Major Influences – Bleeding Gums Murphy, Floyd

Ritchie Barker

The strong silent type. Has carried Norwood Green for years. Strangely, his recent courtship and

marriage coincided with renewed vigour and availability for the Jesters.
Does much of the donkey work with the ball, but never moans or whines. Stands his round

whether it’s his turn to go to the bar or not. Appears to have taken his foot off the gas somewhat

since dismissing Dave Bell, in competitive cricket. (it happens twice a week Richie, it's no great
achievement!) Major Influences – Marcel Marceau
 

Paul Hepworth

Heppy could lend Jack Nicklaus a few clubs, he’s collected that many in his short and undistinguished career. One would have thought he would have learnt a few things on the way but apparently not. Once criticised by Sir Geoffrey for being too selfish when batting. A half decent keeper, (that’s the off side). Could talk nonsense for his country, and likes to spend Sunday afternoons practising the art.

Life Motto: There’s no I in TEAM, but if you look hard, there is ME.

Matt Doyle

Once described to me as a "rough diamond", but I feel that description is only 50% correct. The archetypal flat track bully. On and off the field acts like someone half his age. A genuine livewire in the field, one feels if you could bottle that enthusiasm, there would surely be a market for it. His one disappointing appearance on tour left him puking over a garden wall, before locking himself in his house, and missing the Saturday league game. Hooks and pulls, thankfully cannot drive.

Andy Cockcroft

Raised in the cricketing hotbed of Kirkheaton. A handy quick bowler in his younger days, but has transformed himself into a dour opening batter. A born coach, with a natural eye for a failing and a succinct turn of phrase to get his message across. Not homophobic but always gardens downhill.

Andrew Rowney

Outscored by his younger sister in a 50 partnership at Almondbury. His bowling action has been likened to an octopus on a hot date, there are arms everywhere. Belongs to the Woody Allen school of self-belief, with good reason. This manifests itself in his die hard support of Leeds RL, world class underachievers (before the blips of 2004,2007,2008 & 2009).

Ian Vinall

Triumphant captain of a Saturday side, but cannot score a run for the Jesters. Selected more for his personality and availability than his cricketing prowess, although can be average at all aspects of the game, as required. Often blames a footballing injury for lack of fitness in summer. Claims a cricketing injury all winter. Counts Michael Vaughan among his victims with the ball. A keen golfer, and Horsforth G.C. member, where he is perfecting the cover drive.

Gareth Harrison

The elder and more mature of the Harrison brothers. A batting all-rounder and esteemed member of the "Silent Brotherhood" that is Norwood Green C.C. Toured from an early age but still got badly lost on his way to Colton. With any sort of commitment would have had another 50 games and 75 runs against his name in the annals. Slapped for a big "Tom Mix" by Pod in the Jimmy Bastow Memorial game of 2004.

Carl Harrison

Younger, dafter, cheekier, less trustworthy and clumsier Harrison brother. A more than useful quick bowler when he still had bones in both his legs, and more than capable with the bat. Safe hands until he went to Hatherly, now a nervous wreck in the outfield. Played the highest level of amateur rugby league but never completed the full 80. That was as a pacy winger, as Jamie Newboult found to his cost in Cheltenham. One hesitates to consider what the future holds for Carl.

Matt Hill

Graduated from scorer to player and has already chalked up 45+ appearances. Can bat (slowly), bowl (slowly) and run (slowly) but throw his helmet with real pace when out. His performances are riddled with schoolboy errors. Not at his happiest when run out by his Dad, and a worry for the tea-ladies due to his hollow legs. Matt is the future of the Jesters. Often greeted with a worried look from Caggy.

Mark Wilkinson

After his first season with the Jesters Mark has already proved his worth. Will do anything for anyone – Heart of Gold. Fearless in the field and happy to face the quickest of bowlers on the poorest of wickets – Nerves of Steel. Useless when manning the barbecue – Prick with a Fork

Pete Galley

Gravitated to the Jesters via the BT Evening League set-up, and like so many others before him, flattered to deceive in friendly cricket. Happy to bat anywhere in the order, but such a socialite appears to prefer sitting with the rest of the team, rather than smashing it about in the middle with a partner. Good hands in the outfield, surprisingly for a goalkeeper, and adept at two of the bowling techniques (crown and flat green). Useful addition to any touring party, and more than happy to buy the drinks for the local talent.

Chris Boden

There have been several sets of brothers turn out for the Jesters but none closer than the Bodens. They come as a pair more often as not. Chris the elder of the two falls into that well loved Jester category of serial underachiever. He’ll score the classiest 25 you would wish to see against any class of bowling, then just give it a way as if it was a Sunday afternoon friendly. Happily he also does this in his Saturday side. Specialist cover point. Deceptively slow.

Martin Boden

The other book end. Another classy batter, but gives it away much earlier in his innings. Yet another of the Jesters half decent keepers (3 balls an over) not forgiven (yet) for not running a batter out for doing a bit of gardening whilst everyone else was playing cricket. But don’t get Pod started on that one. There I was at short fine leg, as is my won’t, when I hatched a cunning plan. I’ll pretend to over-run the ball, fake embarrassment, saunter after the ball, ping it in right over middle stump and Voila! The plan worked like a dream until Martin Bloody Boden decided to be the nicest man in the world and invite the chap back into his crease. Well, I told you not to get me started. Martin’s a brick (Note to Ed.- Turn spell check off). Handy footballer, with a nasty streak. Wednesday Fan. Explains a lot.

Johnny Wilkinson

Johnny tried (and failed) to make an impact at Rawdon and for the Jesters before finding contentment in the cricketing backwater that is Blubberhouses C.C. Determination and drive have enabled him to transform his tail end role into that of a dour opener, but the youthful promise he showed as a bowler has waned somewhat. Now, most likely to be thrown the ball when the opposition need 10 off 5 overs with 8 wickets in the tent. Should have his own catching competition with Dave Stanny.

Steve Wilkinson.

Prodigious talent is rare, but to find it turning out for the Jesters, absolutely unique. Attempts to drag Steve down are bearing fruit however, as he can now throw his wicket away with ease, bowl a shocking spell and field like an amputee. There are still glimmers of class in his performances that will take time to iron out but by the age of 20 he should be a 2^nd XI regular and starting to enjoy the game for what it is. If  Pod is proved wrong, I’ll eat a corky, and claim some credit for his development.

Andy Grey

The words “bad starter” are synonymous with Andy. He looks shocked and stunned after receiving his first delivery, jumping around like Derrick Randall on acid at the crease. Once in, a lofted cover drive is his favoured shot, but he is no one trick pony. He plays a lofted pull, lofted cut and can loft it through, or to, mid-wicket. Andy puts himself into the “nasty fasty” category with the ball. I would declare him merely nasty. Inhibits his team mates performances on tour.

Phil Lines

A Jester of old, now renewing his acquaintance with the game with his son Alex. 10 years ago he was a steady away bowler, and could hold a bat. But lets face it, time has done little to improve Phil’s game. The skipper has not had the belief to throw him the cherry, and despite a couple of  scores in double figures, a p.b. of 15 with the bat tells a sorry tale. Phil tells me it’s the taking part that is important, an approach that Pod endorses when adjudging Phil’s talent.

Alex Lines

Young pup, and obviously the son of Phil. Alex’s annals are at present written almost exclusively in binary, but a career has to start somewhere and Alex approaches the game with relish and enthusiasm. Oh, to be young again! 2006 will see Alex getting to bowl, and looking to improve his batting average. One feels a Jester for the future. (Insert joke about ‘signing the forms’ here).

Mark Windle

First Jester since Pod to make two debuts for JCC, having helped out as a small boy when at Alwoodley, under a nom-de-plume. Opens the batting , because he doesn’t like spinners. Takes life and his cricket seriously, but does like a laugh and joke, though not at his own expense. Has threatened Pod with physical violence in the past. A pleasure to play and socialise with, great lad, brick.

Stuart Dobson

Came to the Jesters as a Bradford League opening bowler. Raw, unrefined and erratic. That description can now also be attributed to his batting. Too much a fan of the drinking culture to take friendly cricket seriously. Needs better opposition than Jesters normally provide to show his quality with the ball, with Belly normally stating “ We’ll kill someone on this track if I bowl Dobby”.

Matthew O’Grady

Moggy has for years tormented the Jesters, turning out for all and sundry in the Wharfe valley where tracks are flat and outfields quick. Not one to give his wicket away cheaply, and sharp in the outfield. A captains dream as he plays with a smile on his face and enjoys each and every game. Naturally has failed to score heavily when wearing the Jesters cap (£7.50 from the skipper) and is a liability when thrown the ball.

Dale Winterbottom

One cannot imagine Dale ever experiencing silence. He just never shuts up. Fluent in Leptonese, what he does say seldom makes sense to an outsider. Captain of his Saturday team, and a tireless worker within their youth set-up. Indeed the bowls section of Kirkheaton C. & B.C. is thriving since he joined the club. A ‘popular’ tourist whose hard work was allegedly rewarded with one good knock. A bit of a prankster and magician. Turns wine into water. Out-hit Freddie at St Annes.

Aiden Gill

Member of the Norwood Green 2^nd XI cup winning side in 2005 but making sure his feet remain solidly on the ground by turning out for the Jesters when he can. Happy to bat anywhere in the order, without a word of complaint. Not one of the chattiest players that N.G.C.C. have provided, but his keenness is a fine example for other players of limited ability.

Mark McEneaney

Shortly to be wintering in Australia, Mark is an undoubted talent that we at the Jesters have yet to witness. In the field he has a bullet arm, and can throw the quickest overthrows in league cricket. With the ball he also sprays it about, but chucks in one jaffa per over, his surprise delivery. His apparent talent is with the bat. Must learn to harness his natural attacking flow and value his wicket more, especially in friendlies. This was no more obvious when falling to Scotty in the Pool v. Jesters fixture attempting an inauspicious reverse sweep.