PODS BLOG 2007

Wednesday 3rd Sept 2008

Pod 's hoping this may well be the last blog of the season, as the knees have packed up and the stiff Sunday mornings are creeping into Monday afternoons. And what a cracking day to go out on (if that is indeed the case). Raped by the 1st XI once again, a balanced team made it's way to top of the table North Leeds. Four teenagers, a couple of 20 somethings and Duncan's inspiration for batting and bowling some, shall we say, more experienced players made up the side. Losing the toss, it was no surprise when Sledge was asked to have a bat. Dunc volunteered to open, and after Windy got out to a shocker, he and Charlie filled their boots. A 150 partnership followed, in good time, as Weston the North Leeds skipper protected the singles, at the expense of easy boundaries. We were also relieved to see Mark Singleton grazing in the outfield instead of bowling his late swinging stuff. Apparently the captain doesn't rate his bowling, and we at Rawdon were relieved for that, because we always have. As wickets started to fall, there was a danger that 250 would be the target, but all the incoming batters got on with it, and got good value for their shots. The innings closed with Matty Hill scoring a quick 20 and Browny an even quicker 30. Quality. Hats off to Cheesy, for sulking throughout the afternoon yet still getting 7-89.

The talented Morley, and his brother, Trevor Penney.

The reply from North Leeds was expected to push us all the way, but Goldie finished off a crap week for himself ( he had been dismissed early doors by Nathan in the Dads v. Lads) by dollying up a catch to Callum. You couldn't predict it. Well, actually we did, at about 2.00 p.m. This brought Tim Hales to the wicket. After his lambasting of Steeton and their sportsmanship, or lack of it, the previous week, it was a shock to see him stand his ground after being bowled neck and crop by Pod. Fair enough, Whitt hadn't seen anything from Pods end, and confirmation was required from Jane at square leg, that he had missed a straight one. Off you go Big 'Un. The chase continued with some lusty blows but a change of bowler and another couple of wickets before drinks effectively ended the match. There were a few tense moments as Faddy looked like he might earn another point for the hosts, but they finished agonisingly short of the 221 required with 8 wickets down.

Pod was sorry to see the KFC boys swaggering around after they had knocked off Follifoot's score in 11 overs. This puts them 5 points clear with two games left and in touching distance of the double. Surely the local supermarkets will be stocking up on KY and Vaseline in the coming week, in expectation of their celebrations.

Yours in sport. Pod

Thursday 28 August 2008

Pod chose a lovely sunny Saturday to move house (trying to keep one step ahead of the solicitors' letters!), so there's not much of a blog this week.

Bilton were put to the sword by the might of Windy (47) and the ever improving batsmanship of young Coleman (111). How the Joe Lumb selectors missed this talent, one cannot understand. I feel they should be resigning en masse.

Bilton's reply was desperate. Settling for a single point from the word go, spoke volumes about their strength, but the point they earned, may just keep them away from the drop, so one cannot criticize too heavily. A good natured game, played in the right spirit, that's all one can ask for come Saturday.

Over a libation after the game, Pod heard that things had not been quite so amicable over at Steeton. An email also dropped into Pod's inbox at 11.40 p.m. giving details of the ill tempered affair. Needless to say, the visitors felt hard done by, losing by 2 wickets in a tight match. Pod was tempted to print the email in full, thereby deflecting any imagined dislike of the Steeton club away from himself, but Tim is a nice lad, and surely doesn't need the agro that comes with knocking The Juggernaught.

It appears that there was bat waving and threats of violence towards the visitors, verbal abuse and downright cheating from the home side's square leg umpires. How times change. Not. Tim also mentioned who got his 'Cock of the Day', anyone like a guess?

His closing quote 'We would rather just give them the 6 points, than have to go play Steeton in future' is a sad indictment of what the game has become for some players.

Pod looks forward to the league taking a strong stance on clubs who are spoiling the game for many players. Oh, that is taking for granted that the 'local' umpire sees fit to mention he incidents in his match report. My guess is he didn't.

Yours in Sport, Pod

Monday 18th August 2008

Back from holiday it was good to hear that Moggy of Otley had emulated one of his all time heroes by completing the Waddilove/Birtwhistle losing double. Not only that, but he had about as much positive input into the results as his icon. One now understands why Howard 'make it up as we go along' Clayton allowed him to turn out in both finals, despite being ineligible according to the league rules.

Congratulations to KFCC on raising the Berty, I'm sure there was lots of 'male bonding' going on after the game, after warming each other up at the fall of each wicket.

But back to the league action and it was a must win situation at Hardon for the Rawdon 2's. Matty called heads, the coin came down tails, and we were inserted. Early setbacks should have left us 0-4, but a no-ball and a dropped dolly gave us respite. It was slow slow going and 40-7 wasn't much of a target before The Brave Soldier stepped up to show us why we had forked out big money for him in the close season. A quality knock of 43 got the total above the ton, before a late flurry finished us off.

103 was always going to be a challenge to defend but 4 LBW shouts reduced Hardon to 40-4. The home side resembled the Home Guard before a few of the youngsters got to the wicket, and it was indeed two of these who rescued the cellar dwellers. 68-8 became 104-8 as a couple of Falkinghams batted with a sensible approach that eluded many of their more talented team mates.

Nevertheless, the cock of the week trophy rests squarely on the Falkingham family mantlepiece this week, wrestling the award from the nomark who can only sledge 13 year olds, and the tea ladies who think it is acceptable to charge £3.50 for crisp sandwiches.

The conversation went as follows, as Pod approached the hatch with a plate of barely edible food.

Tea lady "That's £3.50, what would you like to drink"

Pod " For that price I think I'll have the champagne"

Tea Lady " Tea or juice love, the champagne all went last week."

Anyway, Falkingham Jnr, thinks it is ok to throw the ball at the batter, who knocks it away trying to get out of the way, and then appeal for obstructing the field. Cock.

Falkingham Snr runs onto the field like 'my lad's won the world cup at Lords' at the conclusion of the game. Family of Cocks.

Yours in sport, Pod

Tour,

It was a quiet tour for the Jesters in Blackpool.

A feisty game at St Annes was won by the uber competitive home side who kept Matty silent for the only 2 hours of the week. As a result, the Jesters struggled to post a competitive total as the pressure was on the other end to score runs quickly.

Dobby and Macca bowled well opening up. Macca especially, took affront at their No.3 not wearing a helmet, and bounced him out. The hosts 1st team batters though were too much for the Jesters with Pod getting Scotty's share of the tap. On a happier note, Belly dropped a couple of (sharp for him, regulation for anyone else) chances.

Viners turned up to be Pod's bodyguard as we hit the hotspots of Blackpool. Apparently there were a number of flashpoints during the evening where Pod was going to get a battering. I can't see why those army boys were getting so het up at being told they were overpaid wussies. They knew the crack when they joined up, don't moan about it now there's a bit of a war on. Still, they enjoyed Viners' pizza.

Wednesday was crap. Coco wouldn't go to the darts, so we had another night round the usual places. Matty didn't get as much focus in the gay bar, which was a surprise, but was the star of the show when we moved on. He laid down all the groundwork for DT to excel. Dave also was terrific on the karaoke, putting to shame Dobby & Dale. 'Do you do the pubs & clubs then?'

Thursday's game was as expected, with Pod given a chance up the order. The wicket was a shocker and Pod couldn't believe it wasn't even marked out properly. Why the skipper agreed to start on this track was a mystery. Indeed Pod was out stumped for a duck, with the umpire clarifying 'It's the middle line' . Nevertheless a total of 200 was always going to be too many and Pod and Dobby enjoyed their horse coming in at 13/2 whilst nattering in the slips.

One of the opening bowlers couldn't find the same penetration as the previous night but Dale's flight and guile ripped the home side apart. Pod got his first Jesters wickets for over 2 years.

Burley Away

A full six points dragged Rawdon away from the relegation zone. Winning the toss, Longers wanted a bowl. The Burley juniors were not as prolific as earlier in the season, but Frosty held Hughes takes temporary ownership of 50p

the innings together. 60 in 40 overs creates its own pressure though and Nerys has remembered how to bowl tightly. Nelly joined in on a slow low track as 134-9 was the line in the sand. Matt dreams of getting a straight one & not missing it!!

Matt dreams of getting a straight one & not missing it!!

Hughsey won the 50p challenge, for the first time in months!!

A wonderful tea followed as we could satisfy our hunger, safe in the knowledge that if Windy batted for half an hour the game was ours. Unfortunately Windy only batted for 5 minutes and it was left to Niall and Charlie to see us most of the way home. Charlie, I hear you ask? Yes Indeed. Charlie Tuesday got his maiden 2nd XI 50 and has now moved out of the 'promising junior' category. Pod imagines this knock will keep him on the fringes of the 1st XI for another 8 years, and gain him Graham Wright's POY nomination.

Finally Cock of the Week goes to the 'Sick Note Kid'. Available Tuesday, Ok Wednesday. A doubt on Thursday. Out on Friday. Some of us play through the pain barrier. Some don't. Cock! (No offence mate)

Yours in sport, Pod

Monday 21st July 2008

Not a ball bowled for the 2s this weekend but Matty’ll be glad to know there was a dual award for cock of the week. With rain falling from 1.15 p.m. and the forecast for it to continue, and get worse, until the late evening, it was obvious that there would be no play. Well obvious to any right minded soul. But Adel captain, Bath, seeing the apparent weak opposition just couldn’t face letting the easy 5 points slip away, and made us hang around for an hour. Longers, ever the diplomat, secured the other half, for not telling Bathy that he was acting like a knob, and we should all go home at 1.30.

There were still a couple of bright points however as Hugh Supersize me 'Officer'

Hefner top edged one into his kisser during the knock up, and chipped his front tooth. Pod expects his bevvy of beauties still to be around come next Saturday. And Tom turned up with a comedy beard, looking like a cross between Morgan Spurlock and the biker from Village People. Alas, it was indeed a comedy beard, grown for his impending stag do in Portugal. Good work fella.

Nell Bank is an outdoor adventure and activity centre in Ilkley. They are applying for lottery funding and this would help them teach even more children about nature and the countryside. A vote for them at www.lotterygoodcauses.org.uk/awards would be much appreciated.

P.S. I’m taking a wild guess at Dobby not getting a bowl again this weekend!!

It is not often that Pod begs me to fill in for him, but as an admirer of his column I was only too happy to take on his not insignificant mantle and also scribe a few words about the weekends rounders match, against arch rivals Guiseley.

Pre-match preparations started badly on Tuesday with confirmation that the teams average age for the weekend was likely to drop below Viners (remember him?) batting average for the first time in Rawdon’s history. So Nerys braced herself not only for a weekend of snotty noses and mothering duties but also the prospect that, with no other suitable candidates she was likely to have first hit. Still, not all bad; I’ve always fancied opening up with Windy.

Come the day itself and Nerys rolled up to enjoy the young bucks training and exercising in preparation for the big match. Good to see. Indeed the older lags from Rawdon felt obliged to show willing and some strenuous exercise confirmed the wicket to be flat and dry-ish with grass on it, although a surprisingly long way from the pavilion.

In terms of the batting order, commonsense prevailed. With a rather dubiously bruised left pectoral preventing him bowling, Sicknote was volunteered for the task of opening with Windy, an experiment that proved highly successful for 4 balls until Reggie Perrin managed to come up with a straight one. But by this point Rawdon were already chasing a sizeable total after Glen, Howard and the rather more talented of the Frasers had all scored attractive 50’s as Guiseley eased past 250, which could easily have been a lot worse. Had Jimmy been there (well he was but he wasn’t, clearly not in time to play, but apparently in time to watch, he can explain….) the 12 over challenge may well have started with a 3, but tidy bowling from Nellie, Longers and Snugglebunny, plus some good aggression from Joel meant that we went into tea thinking that two points was eminently achievable.

Sadly, this rapidly became a distant target as Doidge was followed by Windy who again looked in good touch then got out; someone is going to pay for this soon and I’m rather looking forward to watching. As we approached drinks, Nerys found herself walking out to join Nellie, like Windy, looking in good touch and well set in the mid 20’s. At drinks a plan was hatched to take us to safety then onward to two points. Five balls later it was unhatched as one of Nellie’s favourite shots for once gave a straightforward catch to gully.

Back to plan A and try to hang on for a point. With no Jimmy to bolster the lower order, Nerys saw the opportunity for a pink-inker and with three overs left Rawdon seemed to have secured a point until Andy Milner, then Longers rapidly departed. With all the confidence of a 10 year old, George walked in with two balls to face to leave Nerys the last over. As Guiseleys opening bowler steamed in George solidly met the ball with the middle of his bat, albeit his bat was nowhere near his pads…..nicely done George. He was less impressed when we met mid-wicket and I suggested that he stay in his crease cos’ I wouldn’t be running for the last six balls; clearly I was denying George the opportunity to score at least 30 runs. Normally Snuggles, Nerys would be only too happy to give youth its head, but with the 1^st XI haemorrhaging players at about 1 per week we might just be grateful for every point we get.

Morzine, France 1/3/08 - The Great Big Bushy Beard Tour

In January, it seemed like a good idea to book early flights, and a resort close to the airport for our skiing trip, the idea being we could get an extra afternoon on the slopes. Alas, the guys at Jet2 had other ideas. The look of a man who is still waiting for Matt to get the drinks in. A 3 o’clock alarm call ensured we were at Yeadon before 4.00 a.m. to find the plane at East Midlands and a departure time of 9.45 was quoted, no worries!! We were bussed down the A1(?) and checked in again and straight through to security. This was where the fun started. Ski boots, which were acceptable hand luggage at LBA were not at EMA, so we checked them in as well. It was something to do with different handlers at EMA, but seeing as I was the handler of the boots, I couldn’t see where the problem was. Anyway, we were on the plane for 10 a.m. where we sat for an hour to wait a slot to take of. Ideas of an afternoon getting our ski legs were fading fast. Liam and I had had problems last year collecting skiboots and this year, Geneva was no better. There’s a bit of a scrum to collect boards, prams and the like, but most (yes most) boot bags came down the chute onto the carousel. Pod + Emily, a long and intimate relationship. Not mine, or Matts! We joined the rolling maul of boarders and manipulated ourselves to the front and got one bag. No sign of the other, so reported it missing in action. I’d had the foresight to cram as much gear as possible into my boots, so I was now without scarf, sunglasses, goggles, thermals, hat & cuddly toy. Basically, all the essentials for skiing. Bugger. We finally got to the apartment at 6.30 p.m. That’s the beauty of travelling.

Up early next morning, we hired skis (and boots for me) and went to the Avoriaz slopes that had a bit more snow than the lower Morzine/Les Gets side of the valley. Matt took every opportunity to lie down as he struggled to cope with real snow for the first time and after a hard day’s skiing, both he and Liam were knackered. Time for a beer or two and the bus back for Morzine. Just before we got off the bus I looked at my poles ‘I’m sure I had red ones, these are blue!’ The closest Liam dare get to a bit of fluff before the smell got too strong. quickly followed by ‘Oops, these aren’t my skis’ Bugger. How the person who’s skis I had pilfered must’ve laughed Not. Anyway, Michel at the hire shop was fantastic, he must deal with so many numpties in a season, one more wasn’t a problem, and he took the skis off me and promised to swap them back. There was a bit of name calling from the other members of the group, but ‘Dave Cock’, that’s just too much. Granted I’d made a minor error, but happily wasn’t going to be alone on the cock-up front.

Liam, a big fan of the French had been polishing up on his vocab, and took every chance to inform the locals that “Le sange est dans l'arbre" The humour is in the repetition, and by golly it was.

Day 2 was also spent in Avoriaz and Matt decided to stand up for the most part, even getting down his first Bring it on. black, a pretty bloody good effort on his 2^nd day on the slopes. At lunch we bumped into a real life Rolly Birkin, recanting at length and at volume how he had ‘canoed the Ardèche’ I don’t think he appreciated four northerners adding comments like ‘ then wrestled a tiger’ ‘ pierced labia’ and ‘ totally encased in ice’.

Vision wasn’t too great today and snow was forecast, so things were looking up at least, and we skied into Switzerland for the afternoon and messed about there. Both Matt and Liam had a bit more stamina today bringing the comment from Viners that he thought Liam had been training at altitude for the last couple of months. Pod replied that he thought Liam had more likely been eating at sea-level for the last two years.

The walk back to the apartment gave Matt his first chance to shine as we took a short cut across private land only to be encountered by an irate Frenchy. Apparently they were only too happy to invite the Germans Matt in familiar pose for day 1. in a couple of times in the 20^th century, but times change and the Brits aren’t so graciously received now, and a Gallic rant was replied to by Viners, and we turned tail. Walking away Matt asked “Just how much French do you speak Viners?”

“Le sange est dans l’arbre”. Quality.

Day 3 and we get powder. Time to hit the prettier slopes of Morzine & Les Gets.

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and Pod gets Viners to lend him some sunglasses.

Now Viners had waxed lyrical about how good these glasses were, he’d sat on them and the arms pop out and clip back in, great lenses and worth the £150. After a couple of hours at it, we ascend La Rosta lift and Pod and Viners go for the black Yeti as Matt and Liam, wimp out and go down the blue. Pod follows Viners off piste to get to the mogul field and laughs as he nearly loses it big style. My turn, deep ‘Dad’ powder. ‘Mum’ ‘Offspring’ Headplant at speed, one ski off and glasses fly. Luckily the remaining ski remains in place and assists in getting back on my feet in the 3ft snow. The glasses are found, sans arm, and a bit of digging around locates that. Skiing down to Viners and the rest of the moguls to meet up again at the bottom, knackered. That was tough. Time for a break, and Viners goes to fix his glasses, only to find the bit that clips back in has snapped off. Still at least he’s still got his £20 pair on his own head, no-brainer or what?

Rob had prepared a little gift for us this year to replace the ‘Bitch du jour’ of 2006. It was expected to be given to Liam most days for skiing like an aging soap star so Emily Bishop had to be worn on ones arm for the evening. In light of Pod’s disastrous start to the week, Emily was awarded, and worn with pride. Liam & Matt with Viners playing the fool out of shot. A night in Morzine had the highlight of Viners taking offence to a young drunkard sitting on his coat. Methinks there was a bit of jealousy here as the southern shandy drinker had a couple of girls with him and we all know what Viners is like whenever there are females around.

With the snow still good we decide to go straight up the Nyon cable car to the Point De Nyon and ski the Aigle Rouge first thing. The cable car takes about 30 people when full, and it was absolutely packed before the attendant got in and away we went. Pod had seen news of an accident at Chamonix a couple of days ago and the thought of a 100 ft drop is a bit scary. Half way up the mountain our car lurches to a sudden stop and swings wildly. There were some white faces around as people wonder what’s happening. The attendant is non-plussed and straight on his walkie talkie. One person without a white face is Liam, turning a lovely shade of red. He’d moved an arm and nudged the big red ‘Emergency Stop’ button. EMILY!

Pod takes on a few of the moguls at the top of the run and is quickly over. Get up, try again and another big fall into deep powder and a ski off. It takes 10 minutes to clamber back up to the piste and a scramble back down to the site of the fall. I can’t see the ski, and wonder what Michel will say when I turn Viners in pensive mood up with just one. Luckily, there’s a tiny red tip sticking out of the snow, relief or what? Four days in and we’re all skiing better and getting up to a bit of tomfoolery on the slopes, starting to spray each other. Pod approaches Viners, who gets a nice covering, and Pod races off laughing. 100 yards away an edge is caught and down I go. Viners comes flying down and as Pod scrambles to regain his feet, and with full knowledge of what’s coming it is just too much. Pod resembles a snowman as he crumbles again laughing, and with Viners standing over him hears ‘God works very quickly these days’ .

The next days are spent around the pretty slopes of Morzine with the Melezes the pick of the reds. It’s not too steep and Pod decides to tuck all the way down, giving Viners a fright and earning a rebuke for going too fast. Never realised I’d brought my mum with me. We take on the Creux black as well and all get down with ease. Matt was skiing like an expert and on the last afternoon Pod slipped on ice. Liam and Matt come charging in and Matt gets there first and Pod once again resembles a snowman, mumbling profanities. As Pod regains his feet he says to his son ‘I hope I never have to call you that name again!’ Viners also gets in touch with Pod, as confident as ever at the top of the hill. his feminine side exclaiming ‘Look at that beautiful sight, the streams of snow behind those skiers, just catching the sunlight and glimmering like…. How gay do I sound?’ Too late, Big ‘Un! And the answer. Rampantly so.

The last night is a time to go straight out from the slopes and hit the happy hour. Liam & Viners are beating the Pods 8-0 when Matty fouls leaving Liam a tricky black. Ever the competitor, Liam demands ball in hand, a rule we hadn’t played before, and we start arguing. To release the aggression we all have a go on the punchbag. Liam, raised on the battleground known as Middlesborough, where the school careers officer offered only two options, the army or prison, expectedly won with 600+. The Pods both got in the 500’s before ‘The Bolo Boy’ stepped up to the plate. 71. Yes 71. EMILY!

About 8.00 p.m. we go for a meal and Viners orders a pasta dish. When it arrives he tucks in and starts spitting out walnuts. Throwing his teddy out of the pram, he winges and moans that the restaurant should know he hates nuts. ‘And since when has carbonara had nuts in?’ Errm, you didn’t order carbonara. Anyway, the dish is changed and Viners apologises at length to everybody. He might have had Emily on his arm, but he was Dave Cock in his head. The arguing resumes, with Pod and Viners going at it big style. Liam brings Viners to his senses with ‘a great big bushy beard’ but Matt & Liam are pissed off and head to bed. Pod and Viners have another beer or two together to finish off the holiday. Mates eh?

The The Four Horsemen. (With Pestilence looking forward to the double bed.) last day is spent returning skis and tidying up. Matty, who had won the double bed on the 1^st day could have done with a team of fumigators in to ease the fetid smell. At press, our deposit has not been returned. Is smell considered to be damage? The flat is cleared by noon and the owners turn up for their break. It was no surprise to find them still stood on the balcony at 6 p.m.

There’s still time for Matt to shine though as we go through customs at Geneva. We all go through the scanner, sans shoes, coats, belts money etc that is put in the tray. Matt is stopped as he beeps, and is asked to empty his pockets. Money, iPod, phone, belt. Ok, through that, but there’s a problem with his hand luggage. It looks like he’s just robbed Boots. Just how many aerosols and bottles of liquid was he trying to get on board? Un-effin-believable. The ‘it’s not my fault’ look on his face is a picture as Viners mimes putting on a rubber glove.

Time for cricket soon, bring it on.

Sunday 10th Feb 2008

Dobson Jim Smith Macca McCallum Milligan Pod

Pod got the nod on Friday for his first outing of the 2008 season in the 6-a-sides at Headingley. Captain Dobson gathered a quality side around him, which would ultimately cover up his tactical ineptitude. Rawdon’s homeless all rounder, a young wicket-keeper batsman, the experience of Pod and RL himself were augmented by a couple of guests from Pudsey, namely the best league cricketer in Yorkshire, and he brought Jim Smith along for the ride. Not a bad side if I say so myself.

Bardsey were first up and were skittled for less than 70. Jim & Macca bowled sharpish and got good bounce. Pod managed a couple of wickets and tight fielding added a run out or two. The chase was completed with ease. Matty hopped around the crease like Derek Randall on acid but Milli steered us home in good time.

Next up were the Monk Breton branch of the BNP who had just lost a high scoring, but good natured clash with the Dalton arm of the Taliban. Losing the toss saw RCC bat first and again Milli was magnificent. Macca batted like he does outdoors and Jim flattered to deceive. Still, we managed 112 in the 10 overs and felt we could defend this with comfort. The three quicks rattled their batters, with Macca particularly, throwing down a couple of snorters. Dobby got into his stride, and again a total of around 70 was reached before the last wicket fell.

The final match was unimportant as both teams had already qualified by winning their first two games and RCC were again invited to bat. In a repeat of the previous game Milli retired in no time, Matty got out for a dozen and Jim blobbed for once. No fear, the strength in depth came in handy as Macca got his 25 and Stew and Pod came together with 4 overs left. The tactic of having three men on the off proved fruitless as Pod got out the leg glance (no change there) and Stew peppered the back wall. 122 was a more than useful score.

Jim and Macca were put to the sword by the Dalton openers and the 50 came up in three overs. Panic stations? Never worried, as Macca got three wickets in his next over and the innings crumbled to 70 all out. A comprehensive victory for the RCC boys and a stroll into the next round. One would expect the same team to be selected, but Pod’s away in France. Bugger. No worries, he’ll be back for the final!

Expect a RL report for the 8^th March games. Incidentally he voted himself MVP for the day. Have a word with yourself Stew

Stewart Dobson has sussed out just how easy it is to put his thoughts down in print and get them on the interweb. It certainly makes an interesting read, as he’s not one to sit on the fence but tells it like it is.

Alas his efforts to remain anonymous have failed at the first hurdle as he keeps telling everyone he is the Rawdon Legend. With this in mind Pod went and had a look at his stats on the RCC site. Funnily enough he’s nowhere to be seen as only the top 20 bowlers are listed, and it is in wicket takers order. Perhaps if Loll can reformat it to Runs/Over (conceded) Stew will be right up there at the top. How those real legends must be laughing at this young upstart trying to muscle in on their glory. Pod suggests the RL tag is dropped henceforth and a new moniker invented. How about Mini Memememe, The Otley Ogre, The Menston Mauler. (Where else have you had offers from Stewart?)

So the season has concluded for Pod and the coffin is back in the loft. It would appear that Pod couldn’t get into the XI at Arthington because of his unavailability for the last two weeks due to family commitments. Strangely, Belly never thought to discuss this matter, as Pod drove him to Liverpool and back on Tuesday night. Apparently 150+ games count for nothing in Jestering circles.

Or perhaps it’s the scathing criticism of the poor captaincy that has led to Pod’s exclusion? Or then it could be the terrible form with the ball that has made Dave go with some new faces. Merely 5 wickets in two seasons is hardly the form to keep a strike bowler in the team, so Pod expects that’s the reason for the axe.

This last point has got Pod thinking. Why just 5 wickets on Sundays when there’s wickets aplenty in the cut and thrust of league competition? Not back to the poor captaincy issue again are we? You can answer that one yourselves.

Have a good winter all you Pod fans. Might just be back in 2008 for more of the same.

Sorry about no update last week but a house move kept me a bit on the busy side.

Kirkstall turned up to Rawdon with a good strong team out and dicked us all over again. There were a couple of bright points with Windy hitting a six off his 2^nd ball as Jem Audsley bowled his last spell for the KFC boys. We could do with him playing for a few more years, but it looks like their younger guns are eager to get him replaced. Pod got a bat as well as he has eventually moved above Besty in the order, but we were chasing far too many to give us a chance and George hasn’t really grasped the concept of batting out for a point.

For the final week of the season we had the chance to send Bilton back down to the B division if we took the spoils. This would allow the victors of the Green Lane – Ilkley clash to stop up.

Not surprisingly Bilton had a strong side out. Understatement. Miles Cornish, their overseas star of Viners ponders playing in 2008 without the pressure.

Viners ponders playing in 2008 without the pressure.

previous years, decided he would have a go against the might of Rawdon. Unfortunately for the bottom two sides, the might of Rawdon was either working, or turning out for the 1^st XI.

Viners won the toss and batted. It went okay early on until the 11^th over when Windy smashed a half-tracker to cover and it all went pear shaped. A Rawdon rush was stemmed by Westy, back to wave the game goodbye, who got his top score of the season. A minimal amount of tail wagging got us to 120, with a little bit of help from the neutral umpire.

It was a Bilton tea up to its usual standards, and one wondered just why Viners had batted first.

Then we found out, as Cornish polished of the runs on his own. 70 out of 110 before he’d had enough. Ball finding after a maximum from the Podster

George and Joel just didn’t have the experience to deal with his batting and Pod and Besty didn’t have the talent. Game and season over and three losses on the bounce give next years captain food for thought.

Besty announced his retirement, and Westy thought about delaying his. Pod looks forward to playing with them both next summer.

So Bilton stayed up, and we get to visit Follifoot too next year. Sadly local rivals Green Lane go back down. Pod thinks it’s about 12 years since they made that trip before and they took years to recover from that. Let’s hope this years’ skipper doesn’t jump ship and leave them in the lurch, like happened on that occasion.

How refreshing it is to see a club that can actually put out a strong team in September. Whether it’s just Rawdon, I don’t know, but come this time of year we are usually calling on the small boys to make up the numbers, and that was the case this weekend as five juniors were in the XI that travelled to Adel. On the flip side, the hosts had to get league dispensation to play two 1^st team stalwarts in the 2nds, as they attempt to overhaul the juggernought.

With the above in mind, Rawdon were always going to bat first. Windy was first to go missing a straight one from the “Man With The Pea Sized Heart”. Matt and Matt, knowing that there was not much strength in depth, were wary for a while and only punished the odd bad ball. It all changed at drinks as Longers was caught behind by Benji’s big brother and the tail was exposed.

Solts bowled well for the rest of the innings, picking up four lemmings and Ewen got a go as Bath decided he could risk giving us a few more runs. Matty Big C finished with a patient 66*, and about time too.

Unexpectedly the Adel tea was not only edible, but enjoyable. Not a cheese slice to be seen and the carrot cake was a real winner.

The reply started with a small boy trying to smash Pod out of the attack. 16-1. Fair swap. You can have three boundaries, I’ll have your wicket. Pod would take that every week.

On the other hand bowling to Jonah isn’t a great deal of fun. When he can be bothered concentrating, as he appears to against Rawdon, he just accumulates runs at a steady rate. Charlie got the second wicket with a grubber, and Jones finally went when he missed a straight one and JC (belatedly) got his finger out.

Viners swapped the bowling around as he was required to with George and Matt only allowed to bowl short spells. Longers tried a bit of spin, and Ian himself turned his arm over as Wardley and Hall closed in on the target of 170.

Not much of a contest really, but Adel are still in with a shout with two games to go. What a difference a new skipper makes. Ian Bath seems to have an abundance of quality players at his disposal and a marked difference to their old skipper who struggled to get 11 bodies on the pitch some weeks.

On Sunday the Jesters took on the might of Idle Gents, a team of social cricketers and small boys. Belly had cajoled Macca into turning out, and after giving him a major role in the twenty/20 the previous week, decided he could bat all afternoon again. Macca and Dale (captain of Kirkheaton) both scored unbeaten tons, as the lads who should have had a chance of a bat, watched perplexed.

With 260 to chase in 30 overs, Pod was told he wasn’t to bowl properly, or we might bowl them out too cheaply. It never was a contest, as Idle scored in the region of 150, but all got a go with the willow.

So a loss and a win across the weekend and both games left Pod shaking his head.

A quick return to Rawdon to see the end of the 3rds and see how the five juniors from the 2nds have gone on. Surprise, surprise. They are not all selected to play . How does that work then? Good enough to play on a Saturday, cannot get a game on Sunday. Surely there’s something needs sorting there at selection, one would have thought they would be the first names on the team sheet.

Next week it’s the KFC guys, who too are challenging for the title. Expect another barrel of laughs there then. Pod’s sure ‘The Petulant One’ will be firing on both brain cells.

It’s nice to think at the end of a season that there’ll be a couple of talking points to come out of each match, and Saturday’s was no different. Green Lane were the visitors and fighting against the drop into the B Division.

Tom tells his old mates how to score runs.

On this performance they look doomed as they lacked teeth in all departments , and perhaps it was appropriate that their toothlessness was predicted beforehand and the long awaited trifle took pride of place on the sweet table.

A shuffle in the batting order for Rawdon saw Longers open up, but a steady start was not capitalised on until our returning hero came in at 4. Eager to prove himself again, as if that is required, Nelly crafted a tremendous innings of 87 before being dismissed in the penultimate over. The middle order all joined in with cameos, with even Viners (13-3) getting into double figures, and Tom Sumpners quickfire 31 being the highlight.

Pod managed to get to the wicket himself for a late flurry of 16 off 8 balls as TP had his figures spoiled. 10 off the last two balls was the icing on the cake.

Despite having to bowl second the players all tucked into the offered fare, and there was much trifle talk. Seems that Pod’s Blog is influential beyond belief!!

With 234 to chase (and Viners 50p richer – Pod’s bid of 211 being way off), Green Lane had to start well. 6-1, 10-2, 20-3. Game over just about, as Pod and Trevor Penny ripped out the top order.

The wickets continued to tumble as Rawdon took their catches, with Trevor and James C snaffling one excellent one apiece. Green Lane were 9 down at the 25 over mark (and thus a saving was made on drinks) and TP had a slog at the end, finishing top scorer with 22, but 9 batters with single figures against there name gives a suitable idea of the lack of application in their paper-thin ranks.

With three games to go, they will have to perform with much more resilience if they are not to return to from whence they came.

Nelly’s back, and brimming with confidence after a wonderful knock. 87 runs, not much in the air, and quality throughout. You Da Man.

Monday, and the Jesters are invited down to OCC for a Twenty20 comp. Read the report here.

Pod got the call on selection night to fill in for a week in the 1’s. What a surprise, but with Oz injured and Nerys on a beach somewhere, was there another option (now George has broken a digit)?

Dobby with 102 wickets and 250lbs under his belt.

sat around for a couple of hours watching the drizzle turn to rain and then turn back, and just as we were about to give up hope Stew tossed up and inserted the opposition.

The nice thing about playing in the 1sts is there are new players to laugh at and the Horsforth opener didn’t let Pod down. I didn’t catch his name, but he really is a tosser of the highest calibre. Arriving at the crease with no spikes in, he then ended up on his backside at every turn. Thankfully Dyson picked him up and he slid back to the changing rooms for a shower and change, knowing full well the game would never continue. Dyson got another couple but the Horsforth overseas player is quality. A bit leg side biased, but he played some fluent stokes to all parts on his way to 84*. This was the base of their total of 133 in 30 overs, and Dyson and Macca bowled throughout. Pod had little to do except nurse a bruise from a dropped catch at long on. Pod & ‘The Emmotts Challenge’ seem to be a feature of 1^st team cricket.

Tea had been taken earlier, so it was a quick turn round and 17 overs to knock the runs off was a Stew in serious mood. Matty isn't - ever.

challenge. JP got his expected decision from one umpire, who has given him out LBW every time they have encountered each other. Without Fear Or Favour (but bearing a massive grudge)?

Macca looked sketchy early on, but kept the ball on the deck, so got away with the shots he mis-timed. Time at the crease did him the world of good and he was the lynchpin of the reply. Stew gave us the initial impetus before getting out and then Oz took on the fight.

Together with Macca these two took us within sight of victory, with the Horsforth fielders moaning all the more about the poor light, and slippy conditions. Note to HCC, if you upset this umpire you get nowt off him, ever, as JP has found out to his cost.

Having cleaned out their wicketkeeper going for a quick single and tried to wipe out midwicket with his bat, Macca got himself off, stumped, with the finish line in view. With singles required, Rocky finished it off with a couple of boundaries, and the watching Silsden team must have been infuriated. All the effort and patience was rewarded and the 6 points puts Rawdon back in the promotion places.

A subdued evening’s celebrating in Horsforth, with even Dobby behaving himself followed. Is he finally growing up now he’s hit three figures?

Pod’ll be back in the 2s next week, with no sign of free beer, but a promised treat at tea. Any chance of sunshine as well?